The One Where Kali Grows Up and Freaks Out

While at work today, Dillards was having an additional 30% off all on sale merchandise. Being a fake employee at Dillards (BCBG is a leased shop inside of Dillards and is an independent store -much like the USA- although the information goes through all of Dillards computers- much like Guam.) I get the allotted employee discount- 25%. But what is so wonderful is the fact that I will get the item for its sale price (Say $50... like my new shoes) and then it goes down 30% ($35 for you non mental math kids) and then I get my other discount (now a glorious $25).

So what's my problem? This is a steal for shoes originally $115. Well, my horoscope told me not to go on a shopping spree... although my new shoes and sunglasses told me otherwise. It told me that my finances would thank me later.

Well its later and I'm freaking out.

I'm moving to a new apartment. Glorious apartment mind you. But an apartment that will cost a little over half a thousand dollars a month (Not as fancy sounding as half a million dollars, but let's face it- I'm poor and half a thousand dollars still sounds impressive to me). Then I will have to get internet and cable. Preferably a bundle deal, cause those seem like fun. And I have a strange feeling that I will be in charge of my phone soon. Not glorious... but not too surprising really. Then there is the electricity and water. I may never turn my A/C on- out of fear no doubt.

You see- normally I'm able to work basically full-time during the summer. This is my time of saving for the year to come. Yet, this summer I am taking 17 hours of stupid school. So, I'm averaging 2 days a week at $8.50 an hour with a hour drive. That's not a good outlook for my bank account. That's basically keeping me even with what I spend. And I shop to make me happy. It's better for my liver I figure.

Then we have to deal with taxes. Something so scary and foreign to me that I would stomp on it and douse it in Raid and light it on fire with a blowtorch if it were a cockroach.

So we come to the next paragraph in which I consider selling my body. But I don't think Cliff (or my mom) would like that too much.

So I guess I need a new job... one that pays $18 and hour. I have my eye on the said part-time job, and will apply tomorrow. Right after I take my summer 1 final and right before I go to my $8.50 gig and look at purses.

That's why I have decided to start a "Help the Poor of Denton: The Kali Flewellen Story" or HPD:KFS for short. You can send your check (or cheque if you are Canadian... I'll take your money also) to a post office box and shortly thereafter receive a personalized thank-you card with maybe a drawing or two to lift your spirits.

Curse my horoscope. Look at what it started.