My Oscar Reactions

I have a truth to let the world know: I fell asleep and missed the first hour of the red carpet!

So starting an hour late I found myself watching Ryan Seacrest trying his hardest.
Random notices:
1. Laura Linny and Jenifer Gardner were terribly secretive. It was distracting.
2. Miley Cyrus has terrible teeth. I realize she is only 15- but that was a mouthful of yellow, jagged teeth.
3. Keri Russel looked pretty save her hair. Maybe the hair wasn't actually too bad, but I have to hate it since she has my type of curly hair and tonight it looked a little bushy and pulled back. Read the weather forcast Keri!
4. Jessica Alba- honey I know you're pregnant and finding a dress is tricky, but let's not throw giant purple chiffon "flowers" all over your pregnant boobs. Not pretty. And a little distracting.
5. Tilda Swinon is this your first time at an awards ceremony? A black burlap sack with weird feathers is not acceptable! You might actually win here for best supporting! Throw on some make-up! (She has actually admitted to never watching the academy awards, this might explain a lot.)
6. Marion Cotillard looks pretty! This is a shock as I've never seen her outside the 1940's (or was it the '20's?) period. Things are looking good for you because your name doesn't even seem ugly (which it should).
7. Ellen Page! You are so cute and quirky- I'm glad you decided to throw on a few long necklaces to spruce up your plain long black dress.
8. Hillary Swank, I'm so glad you talked about how you love to eat. I love unsalted almonds too!
9. Viggo- shave. Unless it's for a role, otherwise- shave!
10. Katherine Hiegle you are so fun. Want to go get cocktails? I think you could be my new best friend.
11. Renee Zelwegger please let your hair grow out! You look like a 10-year-old boy, or a tragic 2nd grader circa 1992 whose mother caught her head in a chili bowl.

And now we switch to ABC with Regis. I hate Regis. (I'm apathetic about Ryan)
1. George Clooney, I love you.
2. Queso run to Applebees.
3. Regis is a moron.

And now the show starts!!!

And the Winner Is... (and really is)

Today is the day we have all been waiting for! The writers strike ended just in time (convenient, no?), Jon Stewart has been laboring extensively and the stars have been overwhelmed with swag and botox.

That's right- it's the 80th Annual Academy Awards. I am so excited. I have even picked the winners (which I will share with you- yay!).

And here we go.

Best Film:
Atonement (Golden Globes; BAFTA)
Juno
Micheal Clayton
No Country for Old Men (SAG) WINNER!!
There Will Be Blood

Ok- It's tricky because for the last 3 years the winner of the sag award has won at the oscars... Thus No Country has a great shot. I really want There Will Be Blood to win. Atonement is a little too British for us Americans I think. Juno and MC are the underdogs that are just happy to be nominated.

*Guess I have to see this now! Thankfully, it will be all over HBO soon. This is great for the Coen brothers... good for them.

Best Actor:
George Clooney- Micheal Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis- There Will Be Blood (Golden Globes- drama; SAG; BAFTA) WINNER!!!
Johnny Depp- Sweeny Todd (Golden Globes- musical)
Tommy Lee Jones- In The Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortenson- Eastern Promises

This easily goes to DDL. Same story here- last 3 winners of the SAG award won the Oscar. And DDL was amazing and deserves all the awards he can get. I don't think Clooney is the award type of an actor anymore. Oscars never go to Comedy people, In the Valley of Elah is a little too small to win and Viggo was good- just not good enough.

*WooHoo! Certainly the guy I wanted! So good.

Best Actress:
Cate Blanchett- Elizabeth
Julie Christie- Away From Her (Golden Globes, SAG)
Marion Cotillard- La Mome (Golden Globes- musical, BAFTA) WINNER!!!!*
Laura Linney- The Savages
Ellen Page- Juno

Julie Christie wins. Same SAG story here too. Her odds are just too good and she's winning all the other smaller awards too. Then, if she doesn't Marion is. It would be a huge deal if Marion won since it's been years (if ever) since a foreign woman one. I'm remembering that guy from Life is Beautiful winning years ago- and it was a huge deal for him. It's not that time for her yet, so it goes to Christie. Oh and Cate is winning down below, so don't feel bad for her.

*Wow. What an emotional win! Really didn't expect her to win, but good for her! It's hard to be upset about my predictions being shot to hell when she was so happy about winning.

Supporting Actor:
Casey Affleck- The Assassination of Jesse James...
Javier Bardem- No Country for Old Men (Golden Globes, SAG; BAFTA) WINNER!!*
Philip Seymour Hoffman- Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook- Into the Wild
Tom Wikinson- Michael Clayton

Hmmm, looks good for Javier. This is actually one category that the SAG and Oscars do not line up on. But... yeah... he's going to win. I haven't seen any of these yet though.

*It did look good for Javier.

Supporting Actress:
Cate Blanchett- I'm Not There (Golden Globes)
Ruby Dee- American Gangster (SAG)
Saoirse Ronan- Atonement
Amy Ryan- Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton- Micheal Clayton (BAFTA) WINNER!!*

Ok, this is a trick on. This is a SAG/Oscar lineup for the last few years too. But I just think she's old and people are just being kind. She was good, but meh. Didn't think much her either way. This is totally going to Cate. She won't win for Elizabeth- but pretty sure it will be here. We need to feel bad for the MC people this year- lots of nods... but I think the follow-thru will be weak. There just always seems to be something edging it out in each spot. I'm sure Tilda was just swell. But how can she compete with an old lady, a girl who played bob dylan, and a child?? Oh and the child Saoirse, is the same thing. It's cute when the nominees are really old or really young.

*Apparently Tilda can compete. And she also looks like David Bowie. Androgynous. But she had a nice mix of confused and gratitude. Not real sure where this came from... but what ever.

Directing:
Paul Thomas Anderson- There Will Be Blood
Coen brothers- No Country for Old Men (Directors Guild, BAFTA) WINNER!!!*
Tony Gilroy- Micheal Clayton
Jason Reitman- Juno
Julian Schnabel- Le Scaphandre et le papillon (Golden Globes)

Ohhhh- Is it time for a foreign director? Not sure. I'm thinking the Coen Brothers. it really is going to depend on the Best Picture win. I just really loved There Will Be Blood- but I haven't seen No Country for Old Men. And I love the Coen Brothers (The Big Lebowski- anyone??), so this very well could be there moment. And well deserved I'm sure.

*Score for them!

Best Original Screenplay:
Juno (Writers Guild; BAFTA) WINNER!!!!!!!!!*
Lars and the Real Girl
Micheal Clayton
Ratatouille
The Savages

Finally a battle for MC and Juno. But after all these heavy movies this year (even the musical is about a demon barber who murders people... not real light), Juno is so fresh and quaint. Go Juno Go!

*YAY! Go Juno Go!

Best Stolen Screenplay:
Atonement
Away from Her
Le Scaphandre et le papillon (BAFTA)
No Country for Old Men (Golden Globes, Writers Guild) WINNER!!!!*
There Will Be Blood


Tricky tricky trick!!! This will follow the best picture and director. But maybe we can throw it to Atonement just to shake things up!

*Told you it would follow best picture and director!


Whew! Check back soon for my Academy Awards follow-up! Who are your picks??

The One Where Kali Has A Sit-Com

I was thinking earlier this evening, what would my life be like if I had my own sitcom?

Although I don't have a name I'm thinking of going with the concept of "That Girl." (Honestly, I have never seen this oldie, but I think the title is fitting. So, here are my ideas:

Theme Song- "Bitch" (This will update the "That Girl" concept into modern times)
Characters- Me. Ideally me with Jennifer Aniston's body. My boobs, my hair and maybe Reese Witherspoon's nose. I would be so hot.
Gay Best Friend (otherwise referred to as GBFF)- I am currently casting this role. But I need one who will gossip and shop with me, but not mind being in the background. This is not an ensemble show.
Girl BFF (although the letters are the same, not to be confused with GBFF, but will be called Girl)- I have some options for this role. I need someone who is cute, but won't deflect my charm. Smart but not nerdy, and most of all- in love with Chai's.
Others- I'm thinking I would like it if Jason Schwartzman could be my boyfriend and Hugh Laurie could play my grumpy next door neighbor.

The plot would revolve around my crazy antics and how my friends and I plot to get me out of sticky situations. There would be drama, but ultimately it would be a comedy. Maybe I could get caught up in some crazy semi-dangerous drug scheme. Or some mafia ploy to regain NJ from Tony Soprano (I don't think he died, FYI). I'd like a good laugh track maybe. Oh! Or what about these crazy moroccan singers who pop up and sing a funny song with good advice that I won't follow until the end of the episode. Maybe I would solve a mystery or two like Nancy Drew, but not the Hardy Boys. I never liked them. I did however like the Boxcar Children. Wouldn't it be funny if one of them followed me home one day and I tried to adopt it but Hugh wanted it more, so I was just its mentor?

Yes, this is my new fall back game plan. That way I could finance my other fall back life plan of moving to Barcelona and live on the beach and wear a sarong and sell puka shell necklaces on the beach while living in my A frame house with a parrot outside. My parrot will say funny things at times.

Ahh, life is sweet.
cue ending song- something sweet and resolving.