Dear Upstair Neighbors,

Hi, I know we haven't talked yet, but I've lived under your for about 2 months now. Normally everything is fine and I only occasionally here you walking about for your nightly trips to the restroom. We all have to pee- I get it.

However, recently you have been, I can only imagine, practicing your sumo wrestling moves. The loud thumps that resonate from my ceiling tend to make my walls rattle. My cats are afraid.

Is that a bass note I hear as well? Turn the treble up and save your ears! Seriously people, I know that at times loud parties find there way to the streets. Maybe you decided to bring it to your apartment. Since I did not receive an invite I would assume this is for morbidly obese people only.

It's midnight. I'm giving you until 12:30 to change your wrestling ways or... well, I'm not sure yet. But I'm going to hate you more and more for sure. Please feel free to go on your balcony- it's nice outside tonight! Granted my vindictive side might come out and I'll call a noise complaint to the local police (the feds are busy).

Thanks and have a good night!

The One Where It Got Away

My sweet little cat Zeda, who is now trying to drink my raspberry tea, was quite the little hunter tonight.

She caught a little salamander thingy, about an inch long! She carried it into the bathroom, and was so excited about it that I went to see what she had. Poor little Sammy was still alive, smushed into my bathmat and had no tail. When Zeda wasn't looking, I grabbed little Sammy and put him outside.

He seemed grateful.

Zeda did not.

But I gave her a treat to reward her hunting skills. Granted, Igby caught a raven once and would have killed it if he had claws... but this is a big step for Zeda. She normally runs and hides under the bed when things are around.

Maybe she found Sammy under the bed...

Run Away!

I guess it's time for an update.
I had a funny story last night then I promptly went and forgot it.


Oh Oh! Guess what I did today AND yesterday?

That's right- ran on the elliptical for 30 minutes! That's because I rule.

I RULE!

Oh, and to do this great feat of greatness, I bought some yoga sportswear from Target a few weeks ago. Then I realized- what if I wanted to take my activity to the outside? Say in the form of rollerblades.... I would need a pair of shorts.

Problem.

I don't own any shorts that aren't super short and silk, meant to sleep in. So, back to Target- goal: 1 pair of shorts.

Goal semi-accomplished.

I tried on a few pair. Hated myself in them. I don't do shorts. I do pants and the occasional skirt/dress that meets my knee. I look stupid in shorts. Wearing them is like an invitation for the world to laugh at my stumpy, white huge legs. And I'd rather not open myself to that sort of humiliation.

There was one night I wore a mini-skirt that Amber refused to call a mini even though it was inches above my knee-cap. What did I learn that night? Amber is a whore.

But anywho. I think I found a nice option at Target today. It has some yoga type shorts, but with a black yoga-esq skirt over it. That way the material isn't stuck to my leg. I felt it was the least embarrassing option I had to go with.

So what is this post really about??

Next time you see me on the side of the street attempting to run or skate... please don't point and laugh. Especially since I tend to run in flip-flops.

(I have issues with my feet in tennis shoes)

Dear New Ipod,

Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm excited about our new journey together. I really like that you are silver even though you don't match my other Ipod memorabilia. My bose speaker set will be very happy to know that his friend is back and he is loved.

Hopefully you won't run away again. Or jump into my chai.

I'm going to add some cool new video to you since you are ridiculously large in storage. I can only fill 14 of your 80 gigs, and I really want you to feel special. So I thought I would put in a variety of shows.

What genre do you like? Reality your thing? Cause Project Runway is amazing.
Suspense? I like the Soprano's.
Dark Comedy? Weeds is a riot and edgy.
Old school? Everyone loves Friends!

Really it's your choice. Well, that and I need to learn how to rip DVDs and put them on you.

What about a rousing podcast? Those sound fun.

I just want to be friends.

Love,
Kali

The One Where Kali Starts A Grown Up Blog

Hello dear readers! It's so good to see you again. As I begin this journey I'd like to road map it a bit for you à la syllabus style.

The Great Kali Llama Blog

Kali Jo Flewellen

Summer 1 and beyond

Office/Office hours: My room most likely at night

Textbook requirements: none, but I would advise you all to read Woodrow Wilson and the Great Betrayal. Not because it is good, but because I had to in a real class.

Course objectives: 1. Get in my mind and try to figure me out because Lord knows I can't. 2. We will discuss my daily activities and love affairs for many things like Friends, raspberries, shoes and money. 3. Vent my frustrations to the world and hope they respond (hint hint).

Grades: This course will be graded on a point system. Rather simple really, you buy me things, leave me fun comments, cuddle with me or otherwise show that you love me- you really love me and I'll give you points. An "A" has never been so simple.

Syllabus is subject to change at my discretion.

So, sit back and enjoy. Grab a bottle of red (or a bottle of white, your choice although my track record might insinuate that I prefer the other) and enjoy my anecdotes and leave a anecdote or two yourself. Have a nice day dear readers.