I survived for now

Now I just get to wait for the inevitable skin cancer to kick in. I am so badly burned that I have spent all day today in only some undies and an occasional silk robe. The silk robe hurts. I have a couple of sections on my back that are blistered. I howl in pain (yes, howl) when I lay down or sit up. The litter box needs cleaning but I'm hardly fit to do much else than sit here and complain and apply more aloe vera.

But I must say that I have an amazing neighbor who did not even blink an eye when I knocked on her door at 4 in my silk robe begging her to put aloe on my back. She's in nursing school and has worked the psych wards so I figured she had seen worse.

But I survived camping. Went tubing (being pulled by a boat in a tube, not floating aimlessly in a tube), zapped bugs and ate some bratwursts.

Oh, and just to let others know, it is illegal to drink alcohol in a Texas State Park. However, you can drink it in your tent.

In less than 24 hours I will head out to live outside with intense heat, insects, dirt and bears. I will have to bring water to drink and will be expected to eat a hot dog and wear a bathing suit. There will be no fans or electricity and I will sleep inches away from thousands of insect and grains of dirt and twigs.

I have to go camping. For 2 nights.

I didn't even own a pair of shorts before yesterday. Now I have to wear some out in public and trounce around and hike and swim in them.

Jason, you better have a great birthday.

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrom

I found a group on Facebook for us night-owls and I must say that I'm enjoying the humor of calling you morning people "Daywalkers." Ha. But they have put together a list of funny "you might have a sleep disorder if" list. I'm posting all the relevent ones to myself. There were many about coffee that had to be omitted for obvious reasons (like it's terrible taste in my mouth).

So, in regards to a previously posted list...

You know you have a sleep disorder when:

1. As a child, you slept in even on Christmas

2. You have to shower the night before or it just doesn’t get done

3. You require divine intervention (i.e., lightbox) to be "awake" before 10.

4. On any given day, at any time of the day, you could lie down and be asleep in minutes. Except for after 10 p.m.

5. You regularly skip a morning ritual even if it only gives you 5 extra minutes of sleep.

6. You've ever woken up in a panic on a Saturday morning thinking that you're late for work/class...again.

7. You've ever worn sun glasses while working on your computer in the early evening.

8. You set your alarm clock for 12 noon . . . and still have to hit the snooze button several times before actually getting out of bed.

9. You end up going for midnight runs/walks because you have too much energy to stay indoors.

10. You want to assault people who tell you to "just go to bed earlier."

11. You never schedule a.m. appointment times at the Dr., dentist, hairdresser, etc. even if the next available afternoon appointment is months away.

12. You've ever arranged to spend the night with friends or co-workers for the sole purpose of getting somewhere important the next morning.

And now some of my own:
13. You had to have your mother call you while you were in college to wake you up every morning.

14. You've made deals with roomates to buy them things if they help wake you up.



Ahh, good ole sleep disorders! :)

It would figure that even thought mosquitoes and fleas and other such insect leave me completely alone, I would go step my foot into a fire ant pile in an effort to do lunges. Here's to my dismal hope they find me as undesirable as the other insects do.

P.S. I still am at a general loss as to why these insect leave me alone 99% of the time. I think it's my amazing blood. Too good for them. It's like drinking $100 champagne when you just want the cheap stuff at the gas station.

Love, Death and Wine: A Journey To Virginia

I think that title would make a fabulous book. Sadly, for the purpose of said book and trip, no one died. I can't even think of a plant that I saw that died.

Oh, although lots of grapes had to die for the making of said wine. I suppose that will have to count for this story. It was a noble death.

However, a few days/a week or so ago, I went to visit my friend who shall remain nameless in an attempt to make her more mysterious. Said friend, called only ANM, lives in Virginia. Obviously, I don't live near there at all and had to travel by plane.

Generally I enjoy planes and trains better than automobiles as I fully support modes of transportation that allows travelers to fall asleep. However, I am never pleased when I arrive early/on time and then notice the plane has been delayed 3 hours to change a tire. Thank goodness for Blue Mesa inside the airport and their yummy blue margarita's. I also met a yarn salesman from Chile who gave me a yummy chinese tortilla thing his sister made him. (yes, I realize a good writer shouldn't use the same word so often, but this writer really believes that "yummy" is the best word to describe both of these things.)

Generally, trips should be jammed packed with excitement, but I have no money and ANM didn't feel like paying for me to go on an Antarctic cruise. I'm over it though. So, we watched almost the entire second season of How I Met Your Mother.

We did get to go visit some wineries/vineyards all over the Appalachian Mountains. Who knew mountains were so good at growing grapes? I didn't, but turns out they were. 5 vineyards later we were in a fun state of mind. I could have gone on forever, but apparently those places close early. I also got a fun, free wine glass at one of the places and yet didn't bring it home it. Le Sigh. ANM will have to bring it to me this summer. (reminder hint)

Turns out, ANM also didn't fabricate the friends she has up there. They exist. I saw them, although I can't remember touching them, so it still could be a very elaborate hologram thing.

So, to sum it up: Wine, good. Rockband, fun. Tapas, tasty. Jalepeno Margaritas, odd.



"Oh, the wrath!" -Grape

What will I not miss?

All the intensely conservative talk that goes on day after day. It was killing my little liberal soul.

Discrimination- it's alive!

There is a small group of us that are discriminated against on a daily basis. People laugh at us when we go through the drive through or come up to a toll.

That's right. We are the People of the Broken Car Windows. POBCW for short.

It's a hard life as a POBCW. I can't just roll down my window and grab my food. I can't drive up to a bank and deposit my money in the tube thingy. No. I have to get out of my car at Sonic, stand next to the microphone, order, sit back in my car and then finagle the food in when the waitress is too stupid to realize she can't shove the food through a broken window.

People are forever pointing and laughing. Rain knows just the minute to pour from the sky.

I often cry at night and ask God "Why? Why me? Why must MY car window opt to never roll down?" I suppose this is my burden to bare, the thorn in my side.

You can always recognize us POBCW people as the ones who are very nimble maneuvering around our car doors. We also have a propensity for avoiding situations for ever having to roll our windows down. We fear the police- but for a more pragmatic reason. Will they understand our window is incapable of rolling down? Or will they assume I am stubborn and then shoot at me through the window to get their message across that my window really should be rolled down?

Ahh, the life of a POBCW. It is a rough life. I ask that next time you see our sad face in the Starbucks drive through at 9 a.m. not to laugh but to offer to hold our door open for us as we dig for the credit card and balance our chai ABOVE the car door.