Dr. Gregory House is amazing. That being said I shall tell you about my current affliction.
Recently my heart has been rather racey. This happens mostly at night and is accompanied by shortness of breath. I'm sure death is quickly upon me and I ask that you buy me the most lavish Christmas presents possible seeing as I won't be around next year to receive any.
Currently, my heart is beating around 100 beats a minute and my mind is cautiously looking around my apartment trying to figure out what Number 13 and Taub will find to report back to House.
This is a problem for a few reasons.
1. Every time I get sick I wonder "what would House do?" henceforth known as WWHD?. WWHD? keeps me preoccupied and slightly paranoid. Not to mention that every time I go to a normal doctor I distrust them and feel they aren't really trying. Goodness, House is so good he... well, he's done a lot. His clinicals could put any doctor to shame.
2. I feel the need to document everything I do just in case House needs it. (My tea molded today- well, it took about 3 days to mold, but still, I don't think tea should ever mold.)
3. I want to clean my apartment so that it's clean when they come over to look for mold and exotic animals. Obviously, I have some mold, but I only have 2 cats and a dog. Maybe it's something in the cat litter and then I would have to make someone else mess with the cat litter since it's slowly killing me.
P.S. Montel Williams is hawking an Obama/Kennedy half-dollar. This is not helping calm my stomach and lower my heart rate.
2 comments:
I can so relate to this! I think it's perfectly normal. Two days ago I noticed a cut on my foot (probably gangrene), then started feeling sick at dinner. I told my sister to get out a dry erase board and get House on the line. I needed to start documenting symptoms asap.
Doesn't it just break your little Texas heart that:
1. We live in the wrong state to receive his help- granted this didn't stop the Cuba guy from smuggling his wife up!
2. That House doesn't actually exist?
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