"Live" Blogging for Amber

How do you not have cable right now? I just don't understand...

First I should make sure you and anyone else reading realize that we are coming from last year which was the lowest rated Oscar's ever. So they are going to "jazz" it up and most likely fail terribly.

So far I think everyone looks great. Miley Cyrus (who just legally changed her name to that from Destiny Hope Cyrus) looks a little like my fairy princess- but I think it's pretty and it you can't wear that dress to the Oscars... where CAN you wear it to? And she's 16- rather see her in a fluffy dress with sparkles than a boob baring dress. The one shoulder seems to be a big deal-- and I love it!

Who do you think will win?

It's starting! Hugh (not Laurie) is hosting and looking good. Wish he was as funny as Jon Stewart but he's good. He's singing a great meldly about the 5 movies... I love song and dance numbers...

But more important is the Swarovski crystal curtain that they have. It's freaking amazing. I want 3 of those crystals.
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That was super fun and he brought Anne Hathaway from the audience to be Nixon in the Frost/Nixon medley part. He almost laughed during The Reader when he was rapping about how he hadn't seen it yet. I'll see if You Tube puts it up in a few minutes.
And a few jokes. And now a medley of Meryl Streep. Wait.... I'm not sure what this is a medly for- looks like Best Supporting Actress. Guess that's going to be the first award?
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This is new and neat- they brought out 5 previous winners (Angelica Houston, Tilda Swinton, some old lady in white satin, Whoopi, and someone else) and they are each monologing about the nominees instead of doing a section from the movie. Not sure- I like it but I also want a quick glimpse of what they did.
Winner! Penelope Cruz!
:( I got it wrong. Oh well- it was a hard category.
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Steve Martin and Tina Fey are so great together! Wow... they should do something. And then they made a very funny joke about Scientology. Risky.

They are doing best screenplay. Reading the screenplay over a clip. Milk got the most applause.
And the Oscar goes to... MILK! YAY! This will probably be their only win and I am so happy for them! Awww- Sean Penn was so fiercely clapping.
I need to be a screen writer. This guy looks so young. I'm young. I can write- spelling-- not so much. Awww- he's about to cry! I think he's gay and was extra attached to this project. Yup. I want to cry too. Go equal rights!!
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Adapted was just spilled right out and SLUMDOG won! First win of the night! Yay!
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Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black just came out and "Rachel" looks great. Really pretty. Take that Angelina! Hahaha- they just cut to Brangelena and they were laughing. So clever!
I'm really so couldn't care less about this award. It does put Angelina against Miley and that just makes me laugh.

Wall E won and I don't care. I'm going to go feed my animals.
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Art direction. SJP and Daniel Craig are talking and whatnotting.
Her dress is amazing and her boobs look great. Her face- like a horse. He is stunning.
NOOOOOOOOO.
The movie that shall not be named just won. C'est la vie. It's a technical award and those people can't help that all their good work went to a movie that sucked. It's like how those people from all the Pirates of the Carribean won and were nominated.
They can lose the next 12 though!
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Costume and I kinda hope Australia wins.
The Duchess won. Ok. I should care more and all but I don't.
I am just distracted by how unattractive I think SJP is but how fabulous her boobs look. It's conflicting. And she's not some fashion icon-- she played a fashionista. But that is all. She didn't dress herself. Arg. People- pay attention!
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Button won again for Make-Up. They are just spitting these Awards out like crazy! Goodness...
Haha this winner guy is just verbally vomiting names of people. Not exciting at all. Just like the movie.

Guy from Twilight just came out. He's creepy looking. Girl from Mean Girls and Mama Mia is with him and she looks so pretty. But I still have no idea what they are doing. "What romance looked like in 2008."
Ummm. Ok.
I should really start on my paper. I have 2 sentences, so that's a great start. But I said what I thought and now don't know what else to write for the next 2 pages. This is going to be a short paper.
This montage just went into the "passion" stage. Haha. How was Liv Tyler standing in the rain and not wet? Weird.
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HAHAHAA
Natalie Portman and some guy (Ben Stiller) is dressed like Joaquin Phoenix and has his GIANT beard on.
"You can't chew gum at the Oscars."

"So, what do you want to do if you don't want to be the funny guy?"
"Ummm- cinematography?"
"Awww, I hope that works out for you."
He's just wandering around the stage, looking weird and creepy. She's laughing. It's funny.
I'm not sure if it's too soon, but it's hilarious.
Slumdog won for Cinematography.
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James Franco and Seth Brogan just had a very funny short where they were watching all the movies and it got to Milk and James Franco is kissing Sean Penn. It was funny. They are doing the shorts now. Check on IMDB. It's some German name and I'm am NOT going to try to type it here.
So far we have had Cruz who can barely speak English, this guy who is German and some French guy who was just "Thank you to my parents. Thank you to my friends."
I can't wait for the craziness that will be Mickey Rourke.
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AHHH! Hugh is doing an ode to broadway and I'm in love.
And then some girl was all "Hey big spender!" and I got even more excited. Yay Sweet Charity. The lights came on and it's freaking Beyonce. Looking stupid as always. She is not a broadway actress!
"And all that jazz..."
Moulin Rouge. Is she really the only person they could have gotten to sing and dance a bit?
"You can't stop the beat!"
Oh make her stop!! She's singing At Last.
Hey- Zac Effron and that other girl are singing stuff from High School Musical. Now that cute girl girl from Mama Mia...
Ok. STOP SINGING BEYONCE!!
Put on your top hat and leave the stage! Don't sing Judy Garland!!! STOP! I hate you!

I still like musicals. Just not Bey Once. And Zac Effron's hair is uber greasy.
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Hahaha... the guy who is announcing Phillip Seymour Hoffman just called him Seymour Phillip Hoffman. It was funny- PSH gave a weird look and then kinda laughed in a "figures" way. Poor guy is at the Oscars and the old man got his name wrong!
By the by they are presenting Best Supporting Actor.
Haa... Cuba Gooding Jr. is fake yelling at what'shisface for playing a black man. "What's next- Shaft? Stop taking us brothers jobs! We need to work too!"
I wonder if they had to draw straws to see who would have to present for Heath Ledger. "No- I don't want to talk about a dead guy!"

Hahaha. Heath Ledger won. There was no way he wasn't. Awwww- his mom, dad and sister are accepting this award for him. I'm gonna cry. Seriously.
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Will Smith is here giving an ode to action movies. Who really cares? Ahhh- it's visual effects. I get it.
Let's just say that The Dark Knight did not win.
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"Stay tuned we know we just got boring on you with Will Smith acting stupid and giving out a LOT of awards to people you don't know and then we gave Jerry and his kids a lifetime achievemnt award-- but we promise stay tuned and things will get better!"

I did dishes a cleaned a few spots on my carpet with the little shampooer I have. That was more productive.
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they are doing the music section now. But it's hard to be mad cause Hugh mentioned Audrey Hepburn and Moon River and now I'm singing that.
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Slumdog won the music stuff. Japan won the foreign. They lied to me- I thought the good awards were coming up next. I think they finally may be.

Oh well- I did more laundry. Even got my Handwash stuff in the sink. :)

Slumdog is soooo going to win. Yay!
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Danny Boyle won for best director!!! Yay.
Reese Witherspoon presented- which I don't totally understand, but she looked great. But she always looks great. And she's 5'1" and I am too. So yay for us shorties!
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Here comes the Best Actress... don't upset Academy! Kate Kate Kate... I really do like the little speeches that the previous winners are giving. It's touching. I wish it was still given alongside a 20 second clip of them acting
Ouch... Sophia Loren looks like Malibu Barbie tans for 50 years and then gets out her old prom dress. It's very painful.
Nicole Kidman has feathers growing out of her boobs. It looks painful. Angie's jewelery looks crazy fake. I'm sure it's not- but still. It doesn't matter if it's real if everyone thinks it's fake.

KATE! Yay!
Take THAT Angie!!
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"How for so many years did Sean Penn get a job as a straight guy?"
De Niro is so funny.
The audience is really for Sean Penn. This should be interesting. I think I would really like to see him win. But at the same time I so want to hear Mickey give his crazy speech.

I almost feel bad hoping Brad goes home empty handed. If he won it would be a "I'm better than you are Angie" moment and it would be HILARIOUS. Granted, if they both lost then they can cry into each other's milk and that too would be funny. Brad would realize how better he was with Jen. And then I would laugh

No one knows what to say to Mickey Rourke. "It's good to have you back in the ring."

Sean Penn!! Yay! Take THAT Madonna.
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"You commie homo loving sons of guns.
I do know how hard I make it to like me of the screen.
I wrote a few names down in case you really were commie homo loving sons of guns."
Sean Penn. You make me love you. I think I'm going to finally go see I Am Sam. And Milk.
They showed the writer again and he was so happy looking! Good for him.
"Shame in their grandchildrens eyes if they continue that way." Not sure who he was talking about but then he went on to equal-rights and I figured it out again.
"Mickey Rourke rises again and he is my brother."
This is totally out of left field. Kate Winslet was cuter when she had her dad whistle so she could find him in the audience.
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Stephen Spelberg is announcing the award... that's appropriate and lucky he didn't have anything.
SLUMDOG!
obvious at this point but still so great for the little film that could. The look on all of their faces is just priceless. All the little kids are going on stage.
Wow that stage is crowded. Those little boys are adorable.
Ryan Seacrest interviewed them all and made a fool of himself when he realized half couldn't speak English more than "Thank you sir."
I just realized that the orchestra hasn't played anyone off tonight. That's kinda crazy.