Oh Yes!

I made it work.

OH NO!

I forgot to watch Project Runway last night!

My little head might just explode!

Thankfully Bravo is never short on reruns. Whew!

Make it work.

Dear Year 23 of Life,

Thanks! You weren't that great, but a lot still managed to happen.

*Got a fake promotion at BCBG and a better discount. Then I quit since I hated the work and the District Manager. But I missed the clothes and the money, so I went back. Then I quit again.
*Had a stressful last semester that was filled with more projects than I had had my entire school career. But, I got published- even if it was in The Wise County Messenger.
*I gained weight. This was not an exciting moment.
*Lived in my first real/by-my-self apartment. Dealt with bills and getting my upstairs to stay at a tolerable level of coolness.
*Got a cat. Then got another cat because cat #1 was lonely. Thanks to them my plants got eaten and I had the joy of emptying plenty of gross litterboxes.
*Graduated with a BA from UNT with a Journalism major, concentration in Public Relations and a minor in English.
*Got money for said graduation.
*Spent 4 tedious months searching for a job and constantly redoing my resume, steaming suits and grabbing the heels and pearls (lie- I don't own pearls).
*Got a job and had my sleep cycle totally murdered.
*Tried exercising but ended up rotating my hip and inch and a half back and pinched my sciatic nerve and could barely walk. It's been about 5 months and my hip still hurts.
*Felt better from hip and decided to try rollerblading at 3 a.m. with Sevahn. Not one of my better ideas. My tailbone got jammed. Yes jammed. Laugh all you want but it was crazy pain.
*Lost my job thanks to downsizing.
*Helped my mom find and buy a new house away from my home town.
*Moved to Lewisville into a nicer, yet slightly smaller apartment.
*Found a better job.
*Ate cheesecake.


So in conclusion I ask that this next year not be filled with as much physical pain and job searching. But feel free to bring on the cheesecake.

Thanks,

Kali

A New Place to Hang My Hat

I am moving next Monday and I get to be excited about it because I am getting moved, by professionals- for free! I can't wait, no sweating for me!

I'm painting my new place, which I am also excited about. I don't care if I have to repaint them boring white when I leave- I'll be looking at Ralph Lauren's version of Limeade green (which looks strangely like the green on my blog. Although I did get in a wreck when I first went to pick out the color (some moron rear-ended me going 5, the mirror in my visor fell and hit my head.) so I hope the color bodes better than my trip.

Then I will be putting an uber fun bright PINK clock on my wall. It has a swinging tail thingy.

And I'm hanging this lamp time three above my bar area. It's going to be fun.


So now I have to box my belongings up in 25 boxes that weigh less than 75 pounds. Anyone want to help?

P.S. If anyone is interested, my mom is selling her house in Decatur, TX. it's 1,250 sq ft and she's asking 120K. What a steal! You should buy it! Yes! You!

Metamorphisis

It took me 2 months to get into an 8 to 5 time schedule. And 3 days to snap back out of it.

My current schedule is back to sleeping at 3 a.m. waking up at 1 p.m.
I really wished the rest of the world worked around this schedule.

Sadly it does not.
At least I have wine. Wine knows no schedule.

Work Posts!

So I'm posting at work, which I have previously abstained from... since I don't want to get fired, but let's be honest- I spend a lot of time on other sites and have made it this far. Let's hope the boss doesn't google "the great kali llama" and finds this little piece of evidence!

But I have an issue with something: anything that reaffirms why a girl doesn't have a boyfriend.

I'm talking about all those "bumper stickers" and "flair" on facebook, all the avatars and signatures people have in forums. I have pulled a small sampling for you, then we shall move on to my rant.

Small Sampling:
Rant: Honestly hon? I think it's you. I think they see this and mark you as crazy and move on to an uncrazy girl. All this is, is an excuse as to why you are still single.
"Hey desperate girl, why don't you have a boyfriend?" "Oh, it's not me, it's their stupid boy penises." or "Oh, they think they aren't good enough for me."

Right, all the boys on the planet got together and decided you were SOOO amazing that they would form a club to honor you instead. I bet this is why you don't get any flowers either.

Thankfully, some girls like to clarify their desperation with this:

Ahh, now I understand. A nice, man of God won't do. Noooo- you want the sexy ones. Hon, I seriously doubt that the Chip-n-Dale dancers are too religious.

Friends, I know you. I know why you are still single. I have one friend who isn't dating right now as she gets her life and career in place- good for her. She doesn't blame it on not yet finding that sexy man of God who also thinks he's good enough for you.

Conclusion: When you have these types of things littering your online profiles, you are saying "I'm single and I don't know why! Maybe someone will believe this sticker! There, THAT shows THEM!"

Unless you and we as the collective public are as delusional as she is thinking that sash really hides her hips and thunder thighs, then no. We don't believe you. Wash that desperation off and start again.

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie... He's Going to Want A Pair of Shoes

So I'm baking cookies to take to work. As we speak my forth batch is sizzling away.

Sadly, my batches have had some uphill battles thus far.

I started and I wanted to make some white chocolate chip with craisons cookies. I'm adding in my flour mixture and the mixer honestly COUGHS it back up.

::COUGH::WHITE CLOUD::DAMN, I JUST CLEANED UP MY LAST SPILL::COUGH::

Then I forgot when to add the eggs in, so I called Mom and she told and my cookies were safe. Whew, wish my counter could say the same thing- cracking the egg in the flour mixture coughed up on the counter made a lovely paste, just in case you were wondering

I thought this would be it. I thought I wouldn't have any issues with proper cookie sizes. Apparently I love HUGE cookies that fall off the cookie sheet and run into other cookies (these cookies never learned about personal space).

In case you were wondering the main problem with BIG cookies is it's very hard to cook them all the way through without burning them.
So the first batch is undercooked with hard edges.
The second is almost black- but came off the cookie sheet ok... first batch wanted to stay on the sheet.
The third batch I made smaller (finally) and it came out decent. Best yet for sure... then whilst transferring the cookies from the cookie sheet to the box I'm going to take them in ::BAM:: it fell on the floor.

I picked it up, brushed it off and put it in the box! I didn't have enough pretty ones to lose one to the floor!

Report: I just got my forth batch out- burned. again. this is friggin unreal.

I'm working on my fifth batch right now- it only has 3 cookies on it. Hopefully 1 can turn out decent.

My co-workers are going to think I'm a terrible cook who burns her cookies! That's not the kinda thing you want your co-workers thinking about your cookies!

"Kali, she's the kind of girl who can bake a mean batch of cookies. And we love her shoes!"