My Oscar Reactions

I have a truth to let the world know: I fell asleep and missed the first hour of the red carpet!

So starting an hour late I found myself watching Ryan Seacrest trying his hardest.
Random notices:
1. Laura Linny and Jenifer Gardner were terribly secretive. It was distracting.
2. Miley Cyrus has terrible teeth. I realize she is only 15- but that was a mouthful of yellow, jagged teeth.
3. Keri Russel looked pretty save her hair. Maybe the hair wasn't actually too bad, but I have to hate it since she has my type of curly hair and tonight it looked a little bushy and pulled back. Read the weather forcast Keri!
4. Jessica Alba- honey I know you're pregnant and finding a dress is tricky, but let's not throw giant purple chiffon "flowers" all over your pregnant boobs. Not pretty. And a little distracting.
5. Tilda Swinon is this your first time at an awards ceremony? A black burlap sack with weird feathers is not acceptable! You might actually win here for best supporting! Throw on some make-up! (She has actually admitted to never watching the academy awards, this might explain a lot.)
6. Marion Cotillard looks pretty! This is a shock as I've never seen her outside the 1940's (or was it the '20's?) period. Things are looking good for you because your name doesn't even seem ugly (which it should).
7. Ellen Page! You are so cute and quirky- I'm glad you decided to throw on a few long necklaces to spruce up your plain long black dress.
8. Hillary Swank, I'm so glad you talked about how you love to eat. I love unsalted almonds too!
9. Viggo- shave. Unless it's for a role, otherwise- shave!
10. Katherine Hiegle you are so fun. Want to go get cocktails? I think you could be my new best friend.
11. Renee Zelwegger please let your hair grow out! You look like a 10-year-old boy, or a tragic 2nd grader circa 1992 whose mother caught her head in a chili bowl.

And now we switch to ABC with Regis. I hate Regis. (I'm apathetic about Ryan)
1. George Clooney, I love you.
2. Queso run to Applebees.
3. Regis is a moron.

And now the show starts!!!