Thursday, July 9, 2009

I have a few irrational fears. I have no rational ones. Rational fears are really no longer rational once they go into the "fear" category and who is to say what is a normal fear? Spiders? Bees? Small sticky children?

But I feel my fears take a certain amount of understanding. See, I'm afraid of cotton balls.

Afraid might be the wrong word, but my English has yet to expand to settle upon the right word. Regardless, I loathe cotton balls. It started innocently enough: that damn fibers separating sound makes me shudder like nails on a chalkboard. I can't stand the feel of cotton and this tactile aversion makes its way to fleece and other thick fabric. But when I start to think about cotton and it's disgusting fiber-like ways I begin to get very uncomfortable. I don't want to be in the same room as those stupid balls. My eyes may even water over as I talk about them. It's my disgust showing itself in my eyes.

I'm also freaked out by trains and railroad tracks. I'm not afraid of being on a train- I've been on many in fact with no issue. However, I do not want to be hit by a train. Nope. I like to think it's a healthy respect for a large iron death machine. So I see no reason to dally around/on/near the railroad tracks as they are obviously the place to hang out if you want to get crushed by a train. And dear lord those arm thingy's are warning signs that we should NEVER second guess. If he candycane striped arms say not to cross the tracks- I will NOT cross the tracks.

And my last fear would be serial killers. This may be more normal but it's not the death and dying part that frightens me. It's the abduction/torture/knifing that would undoubtedly ensue. And all the ones I read about hide their victims and save a small memory from each. I don't want to be chopped up predying. I don't want to be stolen while I sleep. I'm also afraid that I will have a sinus infection that will make my nose stop-up so that when they gag me I won't be able to breath.

My fears/extreme discomforts are real to me and make my heart beat faster. So please never tie me up on railroad tracks, surrounded by cotton balls with a chainsaw. That's just asking for me to have a heart attack. My mom will sue.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

OK enough already about the stupid railroad crossing!!! I didn't mean to pull up close enough that the arm things almost hit the car! I wasn't going to get us killed. You were only 12 or so anyway! Get OVER it!!!

MOM

Amber said...

HAHA, your mom is awesome.

If I wanted to give you a heart attack, I would just fill your entire room (no, your entire APARTMENT) with cotton balls while you were sleeping one night. Let's face it, you wouldn't wake up. They'd be EVERYWHERE, and you couldn't escape, and they'd be on your face and in your hair and on your bed and your floor and everywhere.

The beauty of my plan is it would be VERY hard to lose a civil suit, and almost impossible to be convicted under criminal charges. I would walk away free.

How's that for fear? :)

the great kali-llama said...

No, I would show them this and your premeditated act of fear mongering. I would win all your moneyz.

Amber said...

You would be dead from a heart attack, and I thought of that, but since I published not logged in, I just plan on arguing that someone's framing me.

Unknown said...

I read it too - I can testify that you frightened Kali to death and I would collect ALL your money! (not sharing with Walt!)

Amber said...

Lol, no one would expect you to share with Walt - in fact, if he tried to take your money, I could help you counter sue for back child support (it's not too late) because I'll be a lawyer by then!!!

Unknown said...

yeah Amber! Way to go!